dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
