And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
