When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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