put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
