do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
