hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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