Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
