Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
smell my finger.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
