Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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