I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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