I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
