someone owes me an orgasm
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
