Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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