First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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