Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
that is very illegal...i love you.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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