i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
