Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
