is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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