if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
