Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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