my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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