I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
