the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
