Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
