So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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