Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
