the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
someone owes me an orgasm
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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