Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
