I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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