I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
