I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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