no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
