Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
