What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
