There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
