He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
