wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
