official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
