The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
