you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
