So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize