i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
