i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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