is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
