He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize