If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize