I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
