ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
