Screwed.edu
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
