just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
