He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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