Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
