So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
