Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
