My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
FUCK WHALES
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
