you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
