you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
