Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I have tasted many bathrooms
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
