I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We got so high we made milksteak
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
