Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
