We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
