i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Buhtt sex?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
