Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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