small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
